The Finale

Well, here we are, the final schlemiel, I found these tasks of daily blogs to be quite challenging. Trying to find something of substance to write about every day. Because one thing I did find out about myself is I can’t just right nothing. Literally, I can’t just write crap over and over and over and you get the point. I get bored, frustrated, and then I tend to rant. Sit up, sit down, pace circles, just write about something! And then I get some of my best stuff, squeezed blood from this turnip of a head, nature’s nectar. Sometimes my best stuff is just nothing, but I have an overwhelming drive to make it something. So this project was maddening. And sometimes that was a good thing. I liked having a forum to vent, without having to depend on structure, or grading, or opinions. Somewhere I could just express myself. I discovered that writing how I would speak or convey a message is okay, that there must be a form but that is bendable, not breakable. The challenge was in opening my mind and letting it wander, and then recording the progress for someone else can follow and see where I’ve been. I liked the challenge after a while, as maddening as it was. I didn’t like the control of a blog every day. I want to be able to write when something comes to me. But therein lies the problem, right? If I only write when I want, then my best writing may never come out. I am my own worst enemy as a writer. And that’s what changed in me as a writer. The challenge is my best edge and my worst tool. One in which I can only hurt myself to be my best. Ha-ha…