A rant that turned out to have a point.

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-30

            I am looking for a blog to enter. I am watching “Exodus: Gods and Kings” with Christian Bale and Ben Kingsley. Man, Christian Bale is sure in a lot of movies! I really only liked him in the Dark Knight trilogy so far, but this one was pretty good as far as his acting. I wasn’t too hot on the movie. We’ve probably all seen at least one depiction of Moses and the Exodus. My favorite was the animated one, “Prince of Egypt”. And it did hold true to the story I felt. This version had more of the scientific explanation to the story of the plagues. I tend to believe in the miracles and wonders of the Bible. Not because there could be some scientific, or common sense way of explaining miracles in a way we can understand how they happened, instead of mystically, but because this is my basis for faith. And personally if people line it out in a way where we can understand or even recreate it, then it just gives me more faith that all miracles are real. For me it’s like belief in Christ. When my faith faltered, and it has many times, it was brought back by one of two things. Belief there was a God at all, was what I was needing hashed out for myself. Well one day, one of my friends, a hardcore, headbangin, hand horn throwin, metal head  asked, after talking about my faltered belief, if I believed in demons. Lesser and Greater evil spirits, whether human or otherworldly. And I said yes, because I had seen what I believed to be a possession before, a possession and an exorcism, by a group of young people who were all told that anything was possible if you only believed AND ask in the name of Jesus. And so I believed in demons and the Devil through my participations in Ouija boards, magic callings and trying to talk to the dead. “Well,” my friend said “if you believe in that, then you have to believe in God, because God created the Devil, Lucifer, as an angel first, and cast him from heaven for disobeying him. So if there’s a Devil, There’s a God, and if this is true then Jesus must be his son, and the only way to be saved from the demons and evil spirits, even the Devil himself. Just ask “In Jesus name I pray”. It’s in the Holy Word that I believe is God’s true word. And only he can translate it and let you see through all the other stuff that has been implanted there. If he is real, and I believe he is, then HE IS that powerful. The miracle is in our free will to decide for ourselves our actions and beliefs.

Numbness...

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-29

            A man walks out his house, slowly as if in a dream or like the world had changed or stopped and gone numb. It is almost dark, to the point that you can still make out familiar colors in the silhouettes of twilight. Something’s in his hand. It’s a key…but not his key. There is a Jeep in his drive way, not his Jeep. His wife and daughter head towards the vehicle. He figures he might as well also. They start their GPS and drive and drive and get lost and drive some more. Finally they arrive at their destination. They walk in, unsure of what’s going to happen. They know why they are here, the fighting, the yelling, the disrespect. Staying out late, not getting up in the morning, disappearing for hours on end. But now only confusion, no surety, and the feeling of a depressing ending. They wait in the waiting room for hours. Finally, they come and show them to their room. They take the daughters vitals, ask her to change, Dad excuses himself. When Dad returns they wait some more. Mom falls asleep, Dad and daughter watch TV. Daughter can’t decide what to watch, cooking show…click, Law and Order…click, shopping network…click. Finally Law and Order. They watch in silence and then finally the daughter, and then the Dad fall asleep.

            They are finally woke, and told they are ready to be moved to intake. A nurse and a security guard take the daughter, and instruct the parents to get in their car and they will need to drive around the building and go to another facility to further their intake, and to please follow the security guard. So the parents silently, stumble back out to the Jeep that is not theirs, they get in and start it up, and begin driving. Shortly they see the security car which is apparently leading them on. They follow the car to another building, they get out and follow in the nurse, the daughter, and the guard. They are lead into what looks like a cell, or an interrogation room. They are greeted with smiles and cheery dispositions, but it doesn’t change the feeling any. They are told it might be awhile, so if they are hungry they have sandwiches and TV dinners, stuff to drink, and offered blankets. They all have some juice and ask for blankets. It’s then suggested that it may be awhile, but they should take a nap. There was no TV, the view out the window is blocked. And there is three soft, plushy chairs, one hard chair, and a round table. After some time their blankets are brought and the lights are turned off. The girls goes to sleep. The Dad sits awake in the darkness. He wonders how he got here, how he managed to be in a locked room staring out at nothing with a single white blanket again. Hadn’t he promised himself to never find himself in this situation again?

            When he wakes in the morning, it is by his wife. She is going to get needed things from home. Home, he wanted to go so bad, but his place was here, keeping his daughter safe. So stay he did. He covered back up and went to sleep. When he was woke again it was day light. Someone, who had apparently had her coffee this morning, came in and stated very loudly that it was time to wake up, and she was the intake worker. The first thing she wanted was his chair. He moved to his wife’s chair and settled in, as he heard her say “Alright sweety, it’s time to get up, I need to talk to you.” His daughter woke up and got situated in her chair. And then the questions came. Are you depressed? Has anyone hurt you? Do you want to hurt yourself? What brought you here today….And then she showed her. First one arm and then the other, cuts. Cuts, and cuts, and cuts every which way. There must have been 200 or more cuts on her arms, with more on her legs. Why would you do this to yourself? Do you take drugs? “Yes, marijuana” she said. Do you drink? “Yes” she said. How much? “3 or 4 times a week.” How much when you drink? “I drank half a bottle of cherry vodka before I came in today.” The Dad’s head just dropped in his hands. Now he knew why he was here, now he knew what he had done to deserve to be here. He had not provided the right upbringing for his daughter. He had failed. And then, a knock at the door. It opens. A nurse pokes her head in and says ”Mom is here.” He got up and went to the lobby where mom was waiting for him. They hugged, they kissed, small talk for immediate needs and then she went back. He sat down, numb, other parents in the lobby blindly staring ahead or at the morning news, some crying, some too tired to reflect any emotion, no one trying to look at each other. One time he heard the door open and a nurse came out, followed by his wife, followed by his daughter. She glanced over as if knowing the Dad was there and he looked back at her with mourning eyes, quickly she looked away. A little while later the wife returned, no daughter, no hug. The Dad got up and followed the wife, confused, was this the last he’d see of his daughter? Numbness…

Kitten scratch...

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-28

            What a new day! We’ve been having so much fun here (nudge,nudge-wink,wink). I’ve got this kitten, something the wife said we needed, and every time I move my hand he latches on like the chicken hawk from the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons of my childhood. I think this is a sign of love and safeness, you know security, but I’ve never known a breed of cat, let alone a species of animal who showed affection by trying to maul their object of affection. So you can try and guess how many times I have to hit the backspace button. Shall I give it a try to writer with out backing up? How long, how many seconds? 30 seconds? Okay go. So I jnsuh6gdt tryin g5t to wri4rt without backing up, thudfcxng Gofds for pre,edic4tvie tezxdts. Okkjvrf, enoufh typing in kitrten scrTCHGH. So, translation? “So I’m just trying to write without backing up, thank God for predictive text. Okay enough typing in kitten scratch.” Wow it took me a minute and a half to rewrite that just by keeping him off. He is an on again off again cat, when he’s on he’s attacking, when he’s not…don’t wake him! Really, DON’T WAKE HIM! Or he’s your problem! His name is Dash, and he is white with orange, tiger pattern spots, and we love him very much. One day he will Hopefully make us lots and lots of money. And so well, while you might think you have been shorted today, that is all I have to talk about. Have a pleasant Monday.

Hoping for the best...

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-27

            Here we are. Finally, a day to kickback. I have nothing to do but my blog and I’m done with school today. I have spent every waking minute where I have been dealing with some kind of family emergency with my nose in a book, or my face in a computer screen. I’m glad I finally got caught up, but I can’t help but feel bad that I’m taking time away from my kids. I wonder if things would be so hectic if I was more accessible during the day and after school. This semester though was chose for me for school, and me to catch up what fell behind last semester.

            Last semester I had just come home from a heart transplant. I felt good at first, finished up my finals, and didn’t pass the classes I took. So this semester is all about making up a lost semester. I really want to do well and pass, I’d like to have a B average but I missed the first week of classes and that’s really going to mess with my grade. It was my fault, I didn’t have intentions of going this semester until the last minute, and when I did make my decision to go part-time my wife signed me up for full time. I was pretty stressed about it but, as you can see, I am pulling it off barely. I’m glad with my grades at almost midterm, and am finally getting in my groove which always takes me 3 or 4 weeks to guess at it. I am comfortable with my work, but my test scores are low. I’m still trying to learn to study better. My memory is not what it was before my heart failure, or even after my surgery. I am just hoping my kids are not going to pay for me being so busy during the teen years.

I can't believe that today was a good day(or Don't Worry, Be Happy)

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-26

            What a week! Just a complete roller coaster. Not only is our little car dead, but our van, which is the backup vehicle, just burnt out a bearing on the front passenger side. We are transportation less for the first time in 5 and a half years. And longer than that separately. My wife walked 7.75 miles to work this morning with my 16 year old son till the President of Six Flags, St. Louis picked them up in Pacific. What luck, huh? The President no less, picking them up. Amazing, thank you Lord. With all this bad stuff coming down around us, I feel uncommonly optimistic. I believe God doesn’t give you any more than you can handle, but on this I just have a feeling things are going to work out for the best. Today the kids have not fought, they have done everything I’ve asked them with no problems, they have done their chores and cleaned up whatever I’ve seen needs attention, and Tychelle even talked to me. WOW. I am at a loss as to what to do about the lack of transportation. We don’t start getting paid till the first of October. Then hopefully we have enough to purchase a cheap vehicle to get us around. We have things set up for later. We have my loan coming in somewhere around the 11^th, we have hairless puppies for sale, they are so cute, and 2 litters of hairless kittens coming, they’ll be cute also. I’ll post pictures at the end. But we all know how hard it can be to get rid of animals let alone sell them. We’re hoping for a landslide, pray for us. But I just had to tell my wife, as I love doing whenever I can, that we will make it through this, and we’ll do it together!

So you had a bad day...pt.4

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-25

            So if I could fast forward through the doctors visit, the hot dogs Jacob and I had for lunch and the fit that Virgil through that night over not getting Destiny’s The Taken King and a year subscription to Xbox Live, (whew, I bet I could get a whole nother blog out of that afternoon/ night.) then we can get to the next morning. SO, the next morning I awoke to… wait for it… guess who? Yes! Tychelle! Once again late for school. yay. This time though after my wife yelled at her long enough, she got up and got dressed and got in the car. Wow. So, we headed to school, and of course, once we got there she refused to get out. Once again I went inside to ask for help and assess them of the situation. This time my wife was with me and she stayed out and talked to Tychelle. We got ahold of Josh, her main counselor, instead of Liz like the other day, and he came out and assisted Mom. I did not speak to her at all. Every time I tried to speak to her since the last three days was “Leave me Alone!!! You’re Not My Dad!!!” So I obliged her. While Mom and Josh were getting nowhere with her, we were talking in between ourselves, and decided that it was time to take the next step and talk to the Juvenile Probation Office. Josh went inside to make the call and sent out the campus officer. Wouldn’t you know, after about thirty minutes later, a couple of jokes from him, and a couple of giggles from Ty, she hopped up and went right in. Makes me sick. But the ends here did surely justify the means. Finally free of children, and my wife on her day off, we happily headed up the hill to Fenton and Starbucks. A sense of accomplishment is over us. We are laughing, and giggling, and talking about the plans for our day, when our car made a loud “POOF” sound, and black smoke came pouring out the back as the car died and barely pulled us off the freeway onto an off ramp. What a day.

So you had a bad day...pt.3

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-24

            Okay so, day 24^th and I’m up early to catch up my blog on time. I look out in the house and see Tychelle is not here. Wow?!? Wait, I remember her saying goodbye this morning with the rest of the boys…I think. No wait, I just saw Virgil. GGGRRRRRR. Virgil is our 11 year old. He just joined the ranks of the Junior High, so now his bus leaves earlier with the big kids. Well, he’s having a problem adjusting. So I look over and ask the wife “What is he doing here!” She said he missed the bus. RRRRRRR. Well then let’s get going and get him to school. Just then my 13 year old son walks in. I ask “What’s he doing here!” and my wife says “He needs to go to Urgent Care. He says his back got hurt.” ARGH, Hrrummpphh. Okay, we can do this. I tell Virgil to get dressed so we can go, and he calmly replies “No”… What? “No,” he says. What do you mean NO! He said, “I’m not going to school.” I asked why? He said, “I can’t find any clean clothes.” REALLY! I said, “You’re 11 years old! You can find your own clothes!” “No” he repeated, “I don’t want to.” By now you can guess, I am really over the top. But, an hour and a half later he was dressed and ready to go. YAY! Small victory for the parents!

            So, we head down to the school to drop Virgil off and when we get there we tell him we love him and have a good day at school and he says, “No”. WHAT!! NONONONONO, we just got you dressed, you were just all happy to come to school, you were willing to go just two minutes ago! What is the problem now! …Silence… GGggggGGggRRRrrRRRRR!!!! Okay, you’re coming but you’re not getting any electronics this weekend! So, we start heading up to Starbucks and on the way Virgil breaks down and cries. We ask what’s wrong and he says, “Well, Dad fell down while running after Tychelle last night, and his hearts new, and I’m worried about Dad!” So that was the problem. I told him he knew he could call me anytime, but he replied “My counselor said I could only call once in a while, not every day, maybe not every week.” I was livid. How are you going to tell my son, who is worried about his Dad’s health because he just had a heart transplant a year ago, that he can’t call and check on his welfare. Once again…GGGRRRRRR… So I dropped Mom off at work and Virgil and I went to his school and had a little conversation with his principal. He kindly admitted the mistake the counselor had made, offered to let Virgil use his office as a “safe spot” if he felt threatened or anxious, and said if he would like to call me any day just get ahold of him, preferably at lunch. This suited Virgil well, and he went to school. Score one for Dad! ---But not so fast---to be continued.