Selfishness- the right thing

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 10-1

            Today I want to just freewrite. I am just worn thin so no idea where this is going to go. I’ve been binge watching the first season of “Gotham”. It’s pretty good so far, it has captured my need to binge watch TV shows occasionally. I like how it follows Detective Jim Gordon, so far, as like the central character. He is the one constant in the “Batman” universe, other than the Caped Crusader. They test his morals in almost every episode. He tries his best to follow his beliefs, but it just keeps getting harder to monitor his actions when his loved ones and friends, even workmates keep either getting into the wrong hands or helping test his resolve. I relate to Detective Gordon, I feel like I am compelled to do the right thing, to set the right example, to make it possible to look myself in the mirror every day with pride, not shame. But it always seems like the rug gets pulled out from under me. Like I’m a hamster in a wheel, I never keep going and going, but I seem to get anywhere. I feel drug down by this but I love taking glory and happiness in from the good times. The look of gratitude from some good deed I’ve done. The pride I feel when someone comments on my child’s behavior. The look from my wife when she is reminded again and again that she finally chose the right one. The fact is I’m selfish. I’m a better person because it makes me feel good and I want my children to feel the feelings I do one day. The feeling I feel when I know I’ve done the right thing.