The Finale

Well, here we are, the final schlemiel, I found these tasks of daily blogs to be quite challenging. Trying to find something of substance to write about every day. Because one thing I did find out about myself is I can’t just right nothing. Literally, I can’t just write crap over and over and over and you get the point. I get bored, frustrated, and then I tend to rant. Sit up, sit down, pace circles, just write about something! And then I get some of my best stuff, squeezed blood from this turnip of a head, nature’s nectar. Sometimes my best stuff is just nothing, but I have an overwhelming drive to make it something. So this project was maddening. And sometimes that was a good thing. I liked having a forum to vent, without having to depend on structure, or grading, or opinions. Somewhere I could just express myself. I discovered that writing how I would speak or convey a message is okay, that there must be a form but that is bendable, not breakable. The challenge was in opening my mind and letting it wander, and then recording the progress for someone else can follow and see where I’ve been. I liked the challenge after a while, as maddening as it was. I didn’t like the control of a blog every day. I want to be able to write when something comes to me. But therein lies the problem, right? If I only write when I want, then my best writing may never come out. I am my own worst enemy as a writer. And that’s what changed in me as a writer. The challenge is my best edge and my worst tool. One in which I can only hurt myself to be my best. Ha-ha…

Communication

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 10-3

            Second to the last blog, I never run out of things to say, but I tend to catch writers block when I censor myself. As late as it is, or early, my mind is a big garble of tangled thoughts wanting to shut down anyways. Not my best work, but I’m still filling lines on the page. I’m starting to understand the reason for form to an essay. If every paper were like talking to a bi-polar, depressive, obsessive, sufferer of ADHD with Tourette’s then we would never have any intelligent discussion. Some type of rhyme or reason needs to be behind our conversation. Some type of pattern or rationale needs introduced for open communication. We must have the tit for tat, the witty banter, the way to keep our listener entertained enough to continue, and they us. That’s what I love about communication, it takes at least two entities involved, one to send a message, one to receive. In communication, this typically goes back and forth, or round robin, or bouncing from one participant to another, but there must be two at least. How to get your message received best, like you want it accepted, is the trick. Should you use forcefulness, or sound threatening? Should you try and establish a report, or gain your listeners trust. Should you be a straight shooter, and get right to the point, or will a little manipulation and trickery, with a little sugar to sweeten the words. Knowing these factors that people use to communicate makes it hard to have a civil conversation without wondering if you’re wading in the waste, or drowning in it. Communication really vexes me in the human condition.

Happy Anniversary

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 10-2

            Happy Anniversary! 5 years and 10 months ago my wife and I officially got together. She is the reason I live today. If it weren’t for her to fight for me and make me want to fight with her for me, I would have never made it out of Nevada. I would have gone home and prepared to die like the doctors told me. I’ve known my wife since the spring of 1991, she was 14 years old, almost 15. I was 19, she was my friends little sister. She was very hard shelled, very aloof, but I had a need to get to know her, get past the walls she would try and put up, and I didn’t have the ability to read her. That drove me mad, ha-ha…and she knew it, and of course I was the same. We’d go back and forth, day after day, week after week, smart one liners to each other, pretending to not pay attention to each other. It was fun. But her brother was worried, and he was my friend, a very good friend, and he came and talked to me. He said that if I was just playing around and having a good time with his sister, then to stop, “please stop” is what he asked. And then he said if I had true intentions that I had his blessing, and he would back us all the way, if needed. It was the first time I understood. I was not the one yet. I could not treat her the way she deserved to be treated. I was not faithful, not honest, not worthy of her devotion. I was not worthy. But one day 5 years and ten months ago I told her I was ready, and I would be loving, and faithful and honest…Honest. Honest? I still feel unworthy…but I’m the lucky one with her devotion. Happy Anniversary.

Selfishness- the right thing

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 10-1

            Today I want to just freewrite. I am just worn thin so no idea where this is going to go. I’ve been binge watching the first season of “Gotham”. It’s pretty good so far, it has captured my need to binge watch TV shows occasionally. I like how it follows Detective Jim Gordon, so far, as like the central character. He is the one constant in the “Batman” universe, other than the Caped Crusader. They test his morals in almost every episode. He tries his best to follow his beliefs, but it just keeps getting harder to monitor his actions when his loved ones and friends, even workmates keep either getting into the wrong hands or helping test his resolve. I relate to Detective Gordon, I feel like I am compelled to do the right thing, to set the right example, to make it possible to look myself in the mirror every day with pride, not shame. But it always seems like the rug gets pulled out from under me. Like I’m a hamster in a wheel, I never keep going and going, but I seem to get anywhere. I feel drug down by this but I love taking glory and happiness in from the good times. The look of gratitude from some good deed I’ve done. The pride I feel when someone comments on my child’s behavior. The look from my wife when she is reminded again and again that she finally chose the right one. The fact is I’m selfish. I’m a better person because it makes me feel good and I want my children to feel the feelings I do one day. The feeling I feel when I know I’ve done the right thing.

A rant that turned out to have a point.

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-30

            I am looking for a blog to enter. I am watching “Exodus: Gods and Kings” with Christian Bale and Ben Kingsley. Man, Christian Bale is sure in a lot of movies! I really only liked him in the Dark Knight trilogy so far, but this one was pretty good as far as his acting. I wasn’t too hot on the movie. We’ve probably all seen at least one depiction of Moses and the Exodus. My favorite was the animated one, “Prince of Egypt”. And it did hold true to the story I felt. This version had more of the scientific explanation to the story of the plagues. I tend to believe in the miracles and wonders of the Bible. Not because there could be some scientific, or common sense way of explaining miracles in a way we can understand how they happened, instead of mystically, but because this is my basis for faith. And personally if people line it out in a way where we can understand or even recreate it, then it just gives me more faith that all miracles are real. For me it’s like belief in Christ. When my faith faltered, and it has many times, it was brought back by one of two things. Belief there was a God at all, was what I was needing hashed out for myself. Well one day, one of my friends, a hardcore, headbangin, hand horn throwin, metal head  asked, after talking about my faltered belief, if I believed in demons. Lesser and Greater evil spirits, whether human or otherworldly. And I said yes, because I had seen what I believed to be a possession before, a possession and an exorcism, by a group of young people who were all told that anything was possible if you only believed AND ask in the name of Jesus. And so I believed in demons and the Devil through my participations in Ouija boards, magic callings and trying to talk to the dead. “Well,” my friend said “if you believe in that, then you have to believe in God, because God created the Devil, Lucifer, as an angel first, and cast him from heaven for disobeying him. So if there’s a Devil, There’s a God, and if this is true then Jesus must be his son, and the only way to be saved from the demons and evil spirits, even the Devil himself. Just ask “In Jesus name I pray”. It’s in the Holy Word that I believe is God’s true word. And only he can translate it and let you see through all the other stuff that has been implanted there. If he is real, and I believe he is, then HE IS that powerful. The miracle is in our free will to decide for ourselves our actions and beliefs.

Numbness...

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-29

            A man walks out his house, slowly as if in a dream or like the world had changed or stopped and gone numb. It is almost dark, to the point that you can still make out familiar colors in the silhouettes of twilight. Something’s in his hand. It’s a key…but not his key. There is a Jeep in his drive way, not his Jeep. His wife and daughter head towards the vehicle. He figures he might as well also. They start their GPS and drive and drive and get lost and drive some more. Finally they arrive at their destination. They walk in, unsure of what’s going to happen. They know why they are here, the fighting, the yelling, the disrespect. Staying out late, not getting up in the morning, disappearing for hours on end. But now only confusion, no surety, and the feeling of a depressing ending. They wait in the waiting room for hours. Finally, they come and show them to their room. They take the daughters vitals, ask her to change, Dad excuses himself. When Dad returns they wait some more. Mom falls asleep, Dad and daughter watch TV. Daughter can’t decide what to watch, cooking show…click, Law and Order…click, shopping network…click. Finally Law and Order. They watch in silence and then finally the daughter, and then the Dad fall asleep.

            They are finally woke, and told they are ready to be moved to intake. A nurse and a security guard take the daughter, and instruct the parents to get in their car and they will need to drive around the building and go to another facility to further their intake, and to please follow the security guard. So the parents silently, stumble back out to the Jeep that is not theirs, they get in and start it up, and begin driving. Shortly they see the security car which is apparently leading them on. They follow the car to another building, they get out and follow in the nurse, the daughter, and the guard. They are lead into what looks like a cell, or an interrogation room. They are greeted with smiles and cheery dispositions, but it doesn’t change the feeling any. They are told it might be awhile, so if they are hungry they have sandwiches and TV dinners, stuff to drink, and offered blankets. They all have some juice and ask for blankets. It’s then suggested that it may be awhile, but they should take a nap. There was no TV, the view out the window is blocked. And there is three soft, plushy chairs, one hard chair, and a round table. After some time their blankets are brought and the lights are turned off. The girls goes to sleep. The Dad sits awake in the darkness. He wonders how he got here, how he managed to be in a locked room staring out at nothing with a single white blanket again. Hadn’t he promised himself to never find himself in this situation again?

            When he wakes in the morning, it is by his wife. She is going to get needed things from home. Home, he wanted to go so bad, but his place was here, keeping his daughter safe. So stay he did. He covered back up and went to sleep. When he was woke again it was day light. Someone, who had apparently had her coffee this morning, came in and stated very loudly that it was time to wake up, and she was the intake worker. The first thing she wanted was his chair. He moved to his wife’s chair and settled in, as he heard her say “Alright sweety, it’s time to get up, I need to talk to you.” His daughter woke up and got situated in her chair. And then the questions came. Are you depressed? Has anyone hurt you? Do you want to hurt yourself? What brought you here today….And then she showed her. First one arm and then the other, cuts. Cuts, and cuts, and cuts every which way. There must have been 200 or more cuts on her arms, with more on her legs. Why would you do this to yourself? Do you take drugs? “Yes, marijuana” she said. Do you drink? “Yes” she said. How much? “3 or 4 times a week.” How much when you drink? “I drank half a bottle of cherry vodka before I came in today.” The Dad’s head just dropped in his hands. Now he knew why he was here, now he knew what he had done to deserve to be here. He had not provided the right upbringing for his daughter. He had failed. And then, a knock at the door. It opens. A nurse pokes her head in and says ”Mom is here.” He got up and went to the lobby where mom was waiting for him. They hugged, they kissed, small talk for immediate needs and then she went back. He sat down, numb, other parents in the lobby blindly staring ahead or at the morning news, some crying, some too tired to reflect any emotion, no one trying to look at each other. One time he heard the door open and a nurse came out, followed by his wife, followed by his daughter. She glanced over as if knowing the Dad was there and he looked back at her with mourning eyes, quickly she looked away. A little while later the wife returned, no daughter, no hug. The Dad got up and followed the wife, confused, was this the last he’d see of his daughter? Numbness…

Kitten scratch...

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-28

            What a new day! We’ve been having so much fun here (nudge,nudge-wink,wink). I’ve got this kitten, something the wife said we needed, and every time I move my hand he latches on like the chicken hawk from the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons of my childhood. I think this is a sign of love and safeness, you know security, but I’ve never known a breed of cat, let alone a species of animal who showed affection by trying to maul their object of affection. So you can try and guess how many times I have to hit the backspace button. Shall I give it a try to writer with out backing up? How long, how many seconds? 30 seconds? Okay go. So I jnsuh6gdt tryin g5t to wri4rt without backing up, thudfcxng Gofds for pre,edic4tvie tezxdts. Okkjvrf, enoufh typing in kitrten scrTCHGH. So, translation? “So I’m just trying to write without backing up, thank God for predictive text. Okay enough typing in kitten scratch.” Wow it took me a minute and a half to rewrite that just by keeping him off. He is an on again off again cat, when he’s on he’s attacking, when he’s not…don’t wake him! Really, DON’T WAKE HIM! Or he’s your problem! His name is Dash, and he is white with orange, tiger pattern spots, and we love him very much. One day he will Hopefully make us lots and lots of money. And so well, while you might think you have been shorted today, that is all I have to talk about. Have a pleasant Monday.

Hoping for the best...

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-27

            Here we are. Finally, a day to kickback. I have nothing to do but my blog and I’m done with school today. I have spent every waking minute where I have been dealing with some kind of family emergency with my nose in a book, or my face in a computer screen. I’m glad I finally got caught up, but I can’t help but feel bad that I’m taking time away from my kids. I wonder if things would be so hectic if I was more accessible during the day and after school. This semester though was chose for me for school, and me to catch up what fell behind last semester.

            Last semester I had just come home from a heart transplant. I felt good at first, finished up my finals, and didn’t pass the classes I took. So this semester is all about making up a lost semester. I really want to do well and pass, I’d like to have a B average but I missed the first week of classes and that’s really going to mess with my grade. It was my fault, I didn’t have intentions of going this semester until the last minute, and when I did make my decision to go part-time my wife signed me up for full time. I was pretty stressed about it but, as you can see, I am pulling it off barely. I’m glad with my grades at almost midterm, and am finally getting in my groove which always takes me 3 or 4 weeks to guess at it. I am comfortable with my work, but my test scores are low. I’m still trying to learn to study better. My memory is not what it was before my heart failure, or even after my surgery. I am just hoping my kids are not going to pay for me being so busy during the teen years.

I can't believe that today was a good day(or Don't Worry, Be Happy)

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-26

            What a week! Just a complete roller coaster. Not only is our little car dead, but our van, which is the backup vehicle, just burnt out a bearing on the front passenger side. We are transportation less for the first time in 5 and a half years. And longer than that separately. My wife walked 7.75 miles to work this morning with my 16 year old son till the President of Six Flags, St. Louis picked them up in Pacific. What luck, huh? The President no less, picking them up. Amazing, thank you Lord. With all this bad stuff coming down around us, I feel uncommonly optimistic. I believe God doesn’t give you any more than you can handle, but on this I just have a feeling things are going to work out for the best. Today the kids have not fought, they have done everything I’ve asked them with no problems, they have done their chores and cleaned up whatever I’ve seen needs attention, and Tychelle even talked to me. WOW. I am at a loss as to what to do about the lack of transportation. We don’t start getting paid till the first of October. Then hopefully we have enough to purchase a cheap vehicle to get us around. We have things set up for later. We have my loan coming in somewhere around the 11^th, we have hairless puppies for sale, they are so cute, and 2 litters of hairless kittens coming, they’ll be cute also. I’ll post pictures at the end. But we all know how hard it can be to get rid of animals let alone sell them. We’re hoping for a landslide, pray for us. But I just had to tell my wife, as I love doing whenever I can, that we will make it through this, and we’ll do it together!

So you had a bad day...pt.4

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-25

            So if I could fast forward through the doctors visit, the hot dogs Jacob and I had for lunch and the fit that Virgil through that night over not getting Destiny’s The Taken King and a year subscription to Xbox Live, (whew, I bet I could get a whole nother blog out of that afternoon/ night.) then we can get to the next morning. SO, the next morning I awoke to… wait for it… guess who? Yes! Tychelle! Once again late for school. yay. This time though after my wife yelled at her long enough, she got up and got dressed and got in the car. Wow. So, we headed to school, and of course, once we got there she refused to get out. Once again I went inside to ask for help and assess them of the situation. This time my wife was with me and she stayed out and talked to Tychelle. We got ahold of Josh, her main counselor, instead of Liz like the other day, and he came out and assisted Mom. I did not speak to her at all. Every time I tried to speak to her since the last three days was “Leave me Alone!!! You’re Not My Dad!!!” So I obliged her. While Mom and Josh were getting nowhere with her, we were talking in between ourselves, and decided that it was time to take the next step and talk to the Juvenile Probation Office. Josh went inside to make the call and sent out the campus officer. Wouldn’t you know, after about thirty minutes later, a couple of jokes from him, and a couple of giggles from Ty, she hopped up and went right in. Makes me sick. But the ends here did surely justify the means. Finally free of children, and my wife on her day off, we happily headed up the hill to Fenton and Starbucks. A sense of accomplishment is over us. We are laughing, and giggling, and talking about the plans for our day, when our car made a loud “POOF” sound, and black smoke came pouring out the back as the car died and barely pulled us off the freeway onto an off ramp. What a day.

So you had a bad day...pt.3

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-24

            Okay so, day 24^th and I’m up early to catch up my blog on time. I look out in the house and see Tychelle is not here. Wow?!? Wait, I remember her saying goodbye this morning with the rest of the boys…I think. No wait, I just saw Virgil. GGGRRRRRR. Virgil is our 11 year old. He just joined the ranks of the Junior High, so now his bus leaves earlier with the big kids. Well, he’s having a problem adjusting. So I look over and ask the wife “What is he doing here!” She said he missed the bus. RRRRRRR. Well then let’s get going and get him to school. Just then my 13 year old son walks in. I ask “What’s he doing here!” and my wife says “He needs to go to Urgent Care. He says his back got hurt.” ARGH, Hrrummpphh. Okay, we can do this. I tell Virgil to get dressed so we can go, and he calmly replies “No”… What? “No,” he says. What do you mean NO! He said, “I’m not going to school.” I asked why? He said, “I can’t find any clean clothes.” REALLY! I said, “You’re 11 years old! You can find your own clothes!” “No” he repeated, “I don’t want to.” By now you can guess, I am really over the top. But, an hour and a half later he was dressed and ready to go. YAY! Small victory for the parents!

            So, we head down to the school to drop Virgil off and when we get there we tell him we love him and have a good day at school and he says, “No”. WHAT!! NONONONONO, we just got you dressed, you were just all happy to come to school, you were willing to go just two minutes ago! What is the problem now! …Silence… GGggggGGggRRRrrRRRRR!!!! Okay, you’re coming but you’re not getting any electronics this weekend! So, we start heading up to Starbucks and on the way Virgil breaks down and cries. We ask what’s wrong and he says, “Well, Dad fell down while running after Tychelle last night, and his hearts new, and I’m worried about Dad!” So that was the problem. I told him he knew he could call me anytime, but he replied “My counselor said I could only call once in a while, not every day, maybe not every week.” I was livid. How are you going to tell my son, who is worried about his Dad’s health because he just had a heart transplant a year ago, that he can’t call and check on his welfare. Once again…GGGRRRRRR… So I dropped Mom off at work and Virgil and I went to his school and had a little conversation with his principal. He kindly admitted the mistake the counselor had made, offered to let Virgil use his office as a “safe spot” if he felt threatened or anxious, and said if he would like to call me any day just get ahold of him, preferably at lunch. This suited Virgil well, and he went to school. Score one for Dad! ---But not so fast---to be continued.

So you had a bad day...pt.2

So you had a bad day....

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-22

            Today is a different day. Today I spent all day running around, totally missing all my school work. It started off with Taking my wife to work and taking my daughter to school. See my van is broke down and we are down to one vehicle. So since the school is closer than Starbucks and my wife’s work, I chose to take Tychelle to school first. Tychelle has been our problem child for about a year and a half now. She is 14 ½ years old. Today she didn’t want to go to school, so she talked Mom into letting her go to work with her. Well someone forgot to tell Dad and now Dad is angry because Tychelle has missed a lot of school this year, along with a lot of other rebellious actions. So against my better judgement, I went to Starbuck’s first and the girls got coffee and pastries, and then I went to drop Mom off at work. Well Mom didn’t get permission to take Tychelle, so she had to go with me. Well Tychelle doesn’t listen to me, so staying home with me today was not an option. Let alone she needs to go to school, it’s the law. So off to school we went.

            When we got to school she refused to get out of the car. Even with all the begging, pleading, and ordering I did, I only got one retort. “You’re not my Dad!” is all she would say. Eventually I gave in and went into the school myself. I told the secretary who I was and that I was there to bring Tychelle to school, but she refused to leave the car. They got the special ed. Teacher, the school counselor, the principal, and the truancy officer. They all tried their special way to get her out of the car and she wouldn’t budge. Finally they got a counselor from Crider, a mental health hospital, where Tychelle’s counselors are, and she finally got her out of the car. To be continued tomorrow.

Expansion on "This i believe.."- Peace, love , and equality

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-21

            So now I’m going to expand on times where I’ve come to my credo. Times like coming out of adolescence and realizing that I had no power to change others opinion of me, they were going to come to the conclusions they believed by their own beliefs and opinions that I am who they see me as. It’s up to me to present myself how I believe I would want to be perceived. And that is up to me to change to make the impression. Then you see, my best chance to influence their opinion of me is to improve my self-image, which in turn changes my public image. Another influence on me was my mother. As a side note my Mom was a staunch republican, which is funny because I am a strong believer that my mom was a hippie, or at least adhered to many beliefs of the counter-culture of the late 60’s early 70’s (I was born in 1972 to a biracial couple), and she lived in the Bay Area at the time with my Aunt Jeanette, her younger sister. She was a pot smoker, she dated my Dad who was African American, and by his recollection, she had long hair, loved to party and attend concerts and festivals, and was quite liberal in her beliefs. That was according to my biological father. So my belief is my mom was part of the movement of the counter culture of the Bay Area in the late 60’s early 70’s in her late teens to early 20’s. I believe she was 22 or 24 when I was born. Because of this, the lessons my mother taught me, and the beliefs she installed in me. And they examples she set shaped my belief in the peaceful coexistence that I strive to attain today and try to set the example for my children, wife, and friends and family around me,

My credo-Freewrite

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-20

            Today is the day. Today I have to finish my first draft of our “This I believe…” essay. I’ve picked a topic and it’s going to revolve around the counter culture of the Hippies. I Know, I know you are thinking of pot-smoking, long hair having, naked people dancing in a circle to “Age of Aquarius” or Grateful Dead songs. But no, I’m talking about simple thoughts of peace, love and, equality. And not only that, but to help your fellow man so they may want to follow from your experience. I’m talking about eating more healthy and living with better habits to respect our bodies, and also finding ways to nourish our souls. These are what make us who we are. Peace, love, and equality follows right along with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

            This I can build upon. I can recall from instances in my youth. I can honestly say I have been developing this ideal since my youth. It’s the idea of looking yourself in the mirror and saying, “I am honestly a good person, and I strive to be better.” Now people may say that’s what everyone does, but this is not true. Many people out there are not very good at all. Some people are more interested in progressing themselves even if they have to step on others to get where they are going. Some people act as if they are bigger and stronger than others and that gives them the right to bully others into submission. And even others do things they know are wrong, but justify it by their need to survive for themselves and at times their family. I believe that if people treated everyone like they would want to be treated then the world would gradually become a better place for us and generations to come.

Writer's block- not part 2

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-19

            I believe this is writer’s block #2. It is 12:40 in the morning and I would like to finish catching up my daily blogs. I think I got most of my work caught up. I’m behind on my “this I believe “ essay. Damn writer’s block. What would be my credo? I believe in the right to bear arms, and I tried to brainstorm on this issue along the guidelines of the essay subjects, but I didn’t feel there was enough information in my background to back up this claim and fill 3-5 pages of good writing. My next idea is to write about equality and how I believe in that, as far as racial, sexual orientation, male or female, disabled or not, you get the point. But this seemed so wide a subject, and once again, I had problems brainstorming because this was too wide an idea even for just how bias affected my life. So, I’m still looking for a subject. I have this feeling I’m going to write about something I have such a hard time feeling about. That I will submit the assignment and not be happy with the outcome. The funny thing is when I go back and read what I’ve written in my blogs, I really like how I’m approaching it. At the topics, the type of writing, and the rhythm I’m falling into. When I do get going, I feel like I’m flying across my imagination. Like my brain is finally working again like it did when I was back in school. I remember loving to do creative writing. Even with the occasional writers block. Even though I liked writing more fantasy fiction stories, I found myself refining my skills in poetry and songs, and finally writing rap. It was great releases to be able to transform my real world into something totally different in a few moments of writing. Writer’s block cleared, if I really even had it this time. Good night everyone.

Writer's Block #1

-ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-18

            Today I want to talk about writers block. Specifically, I have it. I can’t quite figure it out, but I really am running out of things to write about. And I think my last post sucked. I think it’s because my head is not in it. In it, in it, in it, See I’m constantly side tracked it seems by my 11 year old son and my 14 year old daughter. But this is not the excuse I’m looking for. You’d think with everything going on, I would have plenty to talk about. But as it is, I am sidetracked by American Dad and Steve’s puberty. How am I supposed to come up with something to write with this going on in my head? Just keep writing, just keep writing. AAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!! And I know what you’re thinking, just turn off the TV and then isolate myself in a room with no distraction. Tried it, I just get nothing in my head but wonderment why I can’t find anything to write about. So here we are, writing about writers block. Although, I gotta admit, shows like American Dad and Family Guy will eventually give you an interesting writing topic sooner or later. I am really not liking this, but I know that this is the reason for the daily writing, which I might add is NOT working for me. I run through the day and eventually fall asleep reading or typing, and wake up the next day realizing I missed my daily blog. I’m still blogging but sometimes it’s a make-up. But this is the entirety of my block, hopefully it doesn’t continue but if it does, I’ve always got “Teen Mom” on MTV.

i Wonder what its like to be a SU-per-Heer-Roh

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-17

            Today I used a writing prompt. It was something about “What kind of Superhero would you be? How would you help your city?” blah, blah, blah. So I’m going for it. I think flying or levitation should be a prerequisite, and I would want superintelligence, and A LOT of money. This way I could build all my super equipment. Like Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four, but more galactically bigger, or not bigger but more like not on an earthly level but a Galactic level. That way if something otherworldly threatened my city, I would be smart enough to build the perfect weapon and containment facility or whatever. So along with levitation and super intelligence. I would need super speed. This way I could build things superfast. I would have to use my super intelligence to help the city in building super defenses against threats that might appear. But not only that I would need to help the city in smaller ways to improve its infrastructure. Being a superhero would mean more than just fighting off evil, it would mean doing whatever I could to improve people’s way of life, make it easier to get by and survive. I would need to do what I could to improve the rights and freedoms we already possess, and expand upon them if needed. But not only that, I would need to make sure that my improvements and good intentions did not infringe upon these rights I would mean to protect.

Blog without a point...

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-16

            I do believe this may be my first non-specific free write. I’m watching Duck Dynasty and listening to the goats bleat, and I miss my goats. Me and my wife used to have three goats, 2 males and one female. The boys were named blackie and brownie (can you guess why?), and the girls name was Ellie May, and as goats do she became pregnant and she had three kids. The kids love the kids. My children had so much fun with those goats. The boys were pygmy, and Ellie was a milk goat. We were gonna breed them for meat and milk if needed for our dogs puppies if they needed it. We never got around to it but it sounded like a good idea at the time. That place was in Fallon, NV before we moved to Missouri. I had to get a heart transplant and Nevada doesn’t give them very often at all. But Missouri gives them at many different hospitals, and lots every year. I chose Barnes Jewish Hospital when it was all said and done. Now I have a new heart and I can watch my children grow instead of having a considerably shorter life. We have three hairless cats and two are pregnant! They should be having their kittens any day. I really hope they go good, but more so is I worry whether they will go to a good home. I really don’t want to breed just for the money, but in that case, I am on 100% disability and that check sucks! It is definitely better than nothing but not enough to get by. My wife and I have become quite creative in how we pay the bills, and we are current on everything now…almost. But the kittens are not only a VERY rare breed, but they are great companions for people with pet dander allergies, and for visits like to children’s hospitals and elder communities. Any visit to a group with the want or need, just because they dodge that pet dander problem. They’re not goats but they are less messy!

My stress reliever-( also how to confuse in ten minutes or less )

ENG. 101-DAILY BLOG 9-15

            Stress, that’s the subject of this blog is stress, or a need for the lack of stress, rather. I am under some serious stress, or rather my family is under serious stress, because of a lack of fundage. The college said that returns would begin September 11^th. It is now September 15^th and last night my wife was asking when my money would come in from school because the electric bill needs attention. For me, the worse bill to need attention is the rent/house payment, but I think we can all agree that utilities are THE next priority. Why is my electric bill late? If we’re buying Walmart and Starbucks, then that tells me that the electric bill is paid. I do have to admit, she did say something earlier on about “I haven’t paid all the bills yet…”, but I had no idea it would be the power.

            Ladies, in regards to your men, you must deal with us much more straight forward, not round-a-bout, like a slowdown in traffic. WE prefer straight shots, as little turns as possible, and for all that’s holy, please no backtracking. Have you ever lost a puppy form it following its nose and forgetting his way back? Picture men in the same way, but with a little more respect, as much as is musterable. And that’s not Musterable like terribly tasting mustard. But more like musterable like how much respect can you muster. Do we need another definition check? I think we do…Muster- an act of assembling. So like grouping together all the respect you can give the image I’ve presented, and the scene I’ve set. I think I’m just digging men as a species a big hole. Please disregard this analogy…I think.

my first Rambley blog

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-14

            Here we go, another daily blog to rattle my mind. I’ve been doing my blogs at night but I’m thinking that it may provide better content, and it will be out of the way for the day. Like watching the news or reading the newspaper, with a cup of coffee, trying to shake off the sleeps and start the day with a good start. I was reading today about leading writings with powerful subjects and verbs and how you can chain thoughts together in these types of sentences. I really want to master this. I am constantly worried about having run-ons in my writing. It’s just that if I get a thought running in my head, I want to get everything out as soon as possible before I lose my train of thought. It’s like today and having nothing to write about. Just me trying to explain about this makes me want to run on and on and on and on. But how long can I keep running on until it’s a run on. Or I run out of things to say. I would more than likely just run out of things to say. I wonder if I slowed down just a bit if I would get better writing in 10 or 15 minutes or less but not so rambley. Is that a word? Rambley (pronounced ram-buh-lee instead of ram-blee) must be a pronoun, no an adverb cause it has –ly or –ley to be exact. It would be a way to explain the verb ramble. Wonder what ramble’s definition is…one minute…well the closest definition in contrast to the subject is “to talk or write in a desultory or long-winded wandering fashion”. So rambley must be to describe something that rambles. This has got to be some kind of discovery or invention. I’d better copyright this, rambley copyright 2015 Hatfield publishing. All comments are welcome, but please no copyright infringement.

My rant that turned into not so much of a rant

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-13

                So here we are again on the freewrite, and not knowing what I want to write about, I’m going to rant. I am not used to full time school. I don’t know if I mentioned this but a little over a year ago I had a heart transplant. Now I could blog till the hashtags come home about that but I just wanted to say that the recovery form this has not been the easiest, especially the emotional side of things. I used to be able to handle a workload, I could do one thing while three other things were going on and juggle everything flawlessly like a circus act. But now I just don’t have the energy, the get up and go. I might as well label myself Captain Procrastinate. Now I don’t like talking about this. I feel as though, and rightfully so, that I don’t have a right to feel anything but overwhelmingly grateful to have been given another chance at life. I feel horrible for complaining because I don’t feel like getting up and doing school, or walking dogs, or going to Cardio therapy. These are thing I should be thinking God I can do. I have always been a guy who needs regular down time, needs to chill out and kick the body and brain into neutral, but my life has sped up to a rate I can’t control. Maybe that’s why I feel this impending dark cloud rolling in. I’m afraid I won’t be able to carry all this and I will falter and fail… I hate failing…me and failing have never got along, I’m not the kind of guy that welcomes it to learn a new lesson, brush off my knees, get up, and keep going. I say I am so I keep a positive aura about myself but I really feel deep inside, “I hat failure”. I hate failure all the way to the point of not doing things I know I’m not good at. Why if I might fail? But has this really held me back? I guess it’s a fear I have to faced, I must set the example. I wouldn’t want my children to run from their fears like this. I think it would be important to face fears like this and not be afraid to fail. Well I guess that’s my rant, not really a rant, but off my chest to an extent nonetheless. I bet ya’ll are really confused with me now. See you tomorrow. Have a peaceful night.

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-12

                So, here we are looking for another blog spew. I’m sitting here watching UFC and wanting to incorporate this into my freewrite. And how do I do this? This is my perfect chance to analyze my audience. Which, I know our esteemed educator may not sympathize with my choice of subjects. But beings this is attached to my Google account, and my classmates are probably my age or younger, and probably at least half male, I feel this is a perfect way to analyze an audience, find my targets and cater to my fans in this endeavor. Heck I bet over half my readers are fans of MMA. Well at least maybe a few of you will agree with me.

                Now I’m not a die-hard fan like my wife, but I’ve watched enough to know a few fighters. I watched as Anderson “the Spider” Silva break his leg once and lost twice to Chris Weidman. I watched Brock Lesnar get dominated by a near nobody. And have followed the exciting career of Rhonda Rousey. I love seeing the domination moves, and the submission moves. How about the knockout of Lyoto Machida by John “Bones” Jones? Or the “Stockton Slap” by the Diaz brothers. I found myself entertained by something that I thought I would have no interest in, and even though I don’t watch as much as I used to , I still got to say, UFC Rocks!

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-11

            As I sit here, once more a day late, I do remember what I was going to freewrite about. I don’t know if it is necessarily a subject we are supposed to write about here but nevertheless I am going to get my thoughts of yesterday off my chest. Yesterday was September 11^th, we all know what happened that horrible day. What I was wondering was about the babies born that day, and for the sake of the discussion, the babies born since, but specifically the babies born on 9-11. What will their family tell them about that day? How will the attack be memorialized the same day as someone’s birthday? I know that people are born on good and bad days but it being that date, and having lived through that as an American Veteran, I was thinking of these babes specifically. How many were born to missing fathers, or other family involved. And were any family directly involved saved? Wondering about babies born on 9-11 down through history, will they be affected by the telling of the tragedy or will the significance of this day even be remembered like we do today or even more ten years ago. My son and daughter were both born in 2001. One was born before September and on after. I think as time goes by I might want to explain to them the importance of that day, the day that Liberty took a hit and still was determined to carry on.

very possibly free rant #1

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9-10

            Today is time for a new blog, and I have to admit, at this point in time I am not looking forward to blogging every day. So, let me take that back. The assignment, to freewrite for 10-20 minutes everyday sounds like an interesting journey I would love to take. That is if I didn’t have 12 kids, 5 living with me, and three of them teenagers, breeding two pairs of hairless cats and dogs, going to school full time and my wife want me to promote this health program/experience that we were but now she is doing. She actually asked me if I wanted to go to work full time at Six Flags, told me they were hiring…ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

            I know, I know, that was horrible grammar but they did say freewrite, and just keeping writing anything, they did. They being Ms. A and the voices in my head I like to call my collective conscience. Totally off the subject but don’t you find that word, conscience, funny? I mean CON – SCIENCE.. HAHAHAHAHA. I just love that. And well if you people want me to freewrite whatever spits out of this head, I may need to come with a warning sign! Just sayin, I can get on a rant that will fill blogs from here to Kansas City. Ten minutes is up, this is getting kinda FUN. Talk To You Tomorrow.

Toys are tantamount

ENG 101-DAILY BLOG 9/9

            I was not sure what to write about in these freewrites, but I enjoyed something we read this week by Jane Hamill titled, “A Grown-Up Barbie”. It really made an impact on me. How she didn’t see Barbie for her long blonde hair and her perfect size and shape she supposedly was naturally endowed with, but instead she concentrated on her high self-esteem due to her positive progress,  individuality, and her not giving up on what she wanted to do, with or without Ken. I didn’t grow up playing Barbie, but I did play G.I. Joe and Transformers. Both of these toys for me were the epitome of the battle between good and evil. But overall it was letting me demonstrate my knowledge of right and wrong, of helping others, of bravery and compassion. I also played with Legos and my lessons there were not only growing the wide expanse of my imaginations, but it was also okay to tear something down and make something better, and if it didn’t come together the first time then it was okay to take things apart and try again. My days were filled with so many lessons for years. And it definitely shaped who I was.

I believe my dogs behave better than my children. They listen better for one. If I tell my dog “come here”, he drops everything and comes to me right away. When I tell my kids to come here, I hear “wait one minute” or “coming”, and then I wait fifteen to twenty minutes before yelling again. Finally, I give up and go find them, or more directly direct one of my other kids to go find them. If my dogs sticks his nose in my plate or tries to take food out of my hand, or even by chance get into the cabinets, I say “NO!” and he stops, and doesn’t try again. My children will go right in my freezer and eat my ice cream right out of the box. I say “Don’t do that again!” and the next night they are right back in my freezer or fridge,. If theyre not in my ice cream, they are into something. Without my permission! My point is if I tell my dogs something they tend to obey me, this time.,right now! I ask my children and its like I’m speaking A foreign language. And you can trust me, ive invested WAY more time in my children than I have my dogs, alright. I ean the squeaky wheels get the grease right. If I had it to do all over again, I’d be a dog. I love my life. I love my kids. But I admire my dirty ol’ dogs! They cost less to feed. They go to the bathroom outside…usually.

This I believe

This I believe…

·         I believe in the freedom of speech

·         I believe in the freedom of press

·         I believe iin the right to bear arms

·         I believe I am just as equal as the next person

·         I believe I am a good father

·         I believe I am a good husband

·         I believe I have room for much improvement

·         I believe that communication takes at least two people, one to talk and one to listen

·         I  believe that both should understand the message

·         I believe there are good cops

·         I believe there are more bad cops

·         I believe in our system of government

·         I believe bureaucrats mess it up

·         I believe there are good politicians

·         I believe there are more bad politicians

·         I believe Congress should follow the same laws that the citizenry do

·         I believe I could write things like this forever

·         I believe I would rather take my time doing it

·         I believe not all baby daddy’s are deadbeats

·         I believe a lot of baby moms are deadbeats, with or without their children

·         I believe a father should have equal rights to children as the mother

·         I believe our system does not

·         I believe the Oakland Raiders are gonna win another Super Bowl

·         I believe the Oakland A’s will win another World Series

·         I believe my children love me, whether they know it or not

·         I believe that all my dogs KNOW they love me

·         I believe my dogs behave better than my children

·         I believe I cannot fix everything at once

My Jung Test

             The Jung test gauged me to have a slight preference of introversion, which I agree with. When I was younger I tried a lot to fit in. When doing the things the other kids did didn’t work I tried to do what they told me to do, like a lot of kids at that age. This just led me to be laughed at and rejected, and I became very withdrawn. As I got older, late high school age and after, I used to try and be the center of attention to hide my shyness and vulnerabilities. I learned to use my strengths to boost my self-confidence.

The test also deduced I have a moderate preference of intuition over sensing. Personally, I would say I’m more prone now to utilize my knowledge and experience, ergo intuition, over guessing from my first instincts. History and others experiences have taught me that some things just have a way of doing them. My younger self turned my back on this belief and I was sure I had “a better idea”.

It also indicated I have a slight preference of Feeling over Thinking. This was hard to swallow but I had to remind myself that sometimes my compassion for others gets in the way of my better judgement. I have a problem with leaving the injured or someone in need of help, and would put myself in precarious situations to ensure in welfare of another.

Finally, the test states I have marginal or no preference of Judging over Perceiving. I have a hard time morally with judging, because most judging is not fair and unbiased. But you can’t just trust perception either. You need facts, reasoning, and witnesses if possible. I think that what the blind lady of justice’s scales are for, judgement and perception, unbiased.

I think I am a “Happily ever after” writer. I like my stories to begin and end this way. I love the twists and turns and surprises a good story can take you on. But, at the end the hero gets the girl, evil is vanquished, and everyone lives “Happily ever after”. But, writing can’t always fill this bill. I think this test has taught me to not always fall into this trap for every writing or reading that comes across my lap. Once again though to pay attention to my strengths and beware my weaknesses.

LMS-hahahahahahahaah

So as you can see, I don't know a lot to write about. As you may find out, I have a different sense of humor(ergo the title of my blog spot). To quickly explain, I have 7 teenagers and am sick and tired of seeing L   -like
           M  -my
           S   -status if...
Everytime I see this I want to belittle and make fun of this. Here is my chance finally to start my war against numbskullism.  :-)   ol' school happy face. Yes, every time I come to my blog I will get a chance to laugh and smile, and that makes this page perfect to me. Welcome to my blog.